We have a lot of bad parkers in our neighborhood. Usually, it's a matter of selfish parking: taking too much space so that only one car fits in a space where normally two cars would.
But this was a new one, spotted on our street this afternoon. License number blurred for the idiot's protection. Interesting to note that this person is a Cambridge resident, with the current parking permit sticker on the back window.
So it made me wonder as to the possible reasons for such disregard of general street-parking conventions:
1. A rural hick, fresh to the city, with a new parking sticker and no idea how to parallel park.
2. Needed to pee like a racehorse. No time to align car with curb.
3. Has "curbophobia" — an irrational fear of getting too close to curb in case curb initiates sexual or other relationship with car.
4. Saw a rat or other verminous animal running along the sidewalk, causing fear of it jumping onto car. Thus parked for safe distance.
5. No sense of perspective. Perhaps they have big thumbs or require cornea transplant.
6. Driver is a knob.
Any other ideas?