i read that book

I'm a reader. I don't work out, I don't have artsy craftsy sorts of hobbies. I just sit on my ass and read books or watch crap tv.

But my point tonight is not really about the reading thing except to say that I'm in 2 book groups, and until tonight, I never told group 1 how old I am. I knew that I was the oldest, but I look young, so I figured I'd just blend.

But in a conversation about having children, they asked if I planned to have kids. I said 'no', and that anyway, since I'm [blurt out age here], it's too late now. No kidding: pregnant pause.

Then the conversation went round to others and there was a moment that I can still feel in my stomach: 2 women were talking about wanting to have children (they're on the verge of marriage), then they exhaled relief that they weren't yet 35 and still had time. As it went on, all the women giggled about reaching the age when their friends are getting married and birthing babies. I was silently thinking that my maid of honor's eldest kid will turn 17 this year. It was the first time that I felt I didn't belong in this group. And I hope I forget that feeling by next month's meeting.